Over thinking- As usual.

Second semester senior. Wow, look at you.

Have I accomplished all I wanted to? Have I impacted anyone's life who's important? I feel purposeless. It feels so good to feel. For some reason I really miss you right now. And I haven't in a while. Fuck.

Senior fucking year. I'm leaving. Thank god, but I'm terrified. I wish I was a baby again, innocent, and blind. I see you for your mistakes and flaws now mommy and daddy- I wish I didn't. But, blind folding myself would be committing suicide and I know better than that. Time has blown by so quickly and I want to soak up every moment of the present. But I can't seem to focus anymore. My mind is elsewhere; dreaming. I want to succeed so badly. I just need to soak up my pain. I can be happy. Can't I?


You don't care for me anymore. You never call or text, and I've tried to tell you. I get it. You found a guy, an incredible guy who makes you feel whole, but I miss you. And constantly missing you makes me feel empty- like she did. I never wanted to compare you to her, but I can't help myself. I'm beginning to. I'm scared. I don't want to lose another best friend to my insecurities. I don't want to pretend to be okay anymore. I love you so much. Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe I'm over analyzing what's happening. All I know is that I miss you. A lot.

Can someone make this stop already?