Will you?

I'm forgetting how it feels to be happy. I'm forgetting what it's like to be loved. I miss it. I feel gross, empty, lonely, hated, taken advantage of, and broken. I miss the good days when everything wasn't complicated and superficial. I'm hurting all the time now. I'm sick of pain, i'm sick of feeling annoying. I want people to want to talk to me. To want to spend time with me... just talking. Is it too much to ask? Just get me out of here already. I want to disappear. I cause so many people pain. I do no good for anyone. It's always about me. Always. You stupid selfish bitch. You stupid, ugly, useless bitch. I hate you, i hate, i hate you. Just disappear. Disappear and die. No one will care. No one will worry when I don't come home or call. They'll all be relieved. I'm fat, ugly, and disgusting. I hate myself. I hate myself, I hate myself so much. Why am i always thinking? Why can't i just be... why, why, why? I'm leaving in two days. Two more days of this hell. I'm tired of giving and not being given anything in return. I mind as well just not be here anymore. No one will miss me. No one will write. Just like last time. No one loves me for me. No one cares to get to know me. I wish someone did. I wish someone would call just to talk. I hate calling. I feel so needy. I miss it when people would just call. I've made so many mistakes. I've let go of so many good things and chased after self destructive, horrible things instead. I am the main barrier between and me and happiness. No one cares to listen. I'm always listening. Or at least i try to. I really do. I really care about the people in my life. Don't I? Do I? I don't know anymore. I want to be gone already. I make no one happy. I bring no one goodness anymore. I miss the days when people would just call for my advice. When the close, important people would go out of their way to see me. I'm empty. I'm empty. I'm empty. I hope people show up tonight. I can't cry anymore. Someone show up. Someone. Will you?