Goodbye L.A.

Today is the last day at home. I'm excited to get out here already. No more arguments.... no more drama. I'm just leaving. If people miss me, then they miss me. The people i'll miss know who they are. It's that simple. I'm going to write everyone. But only those who i truly love and miss will be constantly be in my inbox and outbox.

Damn it best friend. You're so close, but so far away. I'm glad i don't need to be around you anymore. I can just be now. Tomorrow i'm going to meet incredible people, who will hopefully love me for me.... and exactly what you found impossible to do.... be genuinely nice. Enjoy your summer. Be happy, and take care of my family. You know who they are. They were the ones who stood by me when you walked away completely focused on you. Sound familiar. Yep. I'll never forget. No, we will never be 150% ok. Because i'll never be even 5% ok with you in my life again. I hate you so much that I love you. Just go live your life the way you want to, not based on how anyone else feels..... Just go... leave me to live my life for others, and somewhat for me. I don't need you. I don't need a boy either. I need family. Anyone can classify as a friend. But few classify as family. And you no longer fit into that category best friend.

It hurts to hear that i'm a shady, backstabbing, bad friend. But, honestly, you're confusing me with you. You know I did absolutely nothing wrong. All because i didn't kiss your feet when you asked me to doesn't make me a bad person. You used me over and over again. I hope you know i NEVER used you once. I went places with you to spend time with YOU. Yep, you. And all you did was venture into your own world, and use me for rides. FUCK YOU. I'm done. You will receive a letter from me in a few days. I hope you'll respect me enough to reply. I'll see you around i guess. I love[d] you. You never gave a living shit about me. So, go talk shit. Go, tell everyone about how horrible I am. I have people who know differently, and who know that i was planning on being there for you EVERY step of the way.

And for you. BE MY FRIEND. Just find enough respect to reply to my texts, call me to ask how I'm doing. Anything. Jeez. You're more full of yourself than I expected. Whatever. Go to your thing. Hopefully i'll show up to one of your shows on one of my days off. Then you'll see that I'm worth keeping and talking to. You'll also see that i appreciate you for you, and not your sexual drive. I embrace your talents. You'll see that i'm more than just some bitch you hooked up in the beginning of summer. I'm a girl you'd want to be with. I'm a woman you'd want to love. Aren't I? Jeez. I need to stop.

Alright, and for you my little precious. Sleep well while i'm gone. Don't scratch my mom too much. And don't grow up too quickly. I'm going to miss you so much. Stay cute. I love you as unconditionally as you love me.

And now i'm letting go, i'm clearing my mind, i'm entering a new chapter. Goodbye rough world of L.A. Hello passion. Hello peace. Hello camp.