It never ends- And that's okay.

The past two weeks have been crazy. I'm so glad I pushed through them. First place in everything at the horse show, an incredible production, and some great performances. But underneath it all I struggled in keeping my head above water in my classes, and I felt more stupid than ever in all of my classes. But, it's okay. I'm getting somewhere. Each day I'm more and more sure that being on stage is my destiny.

But, my support system is wearing down. I've lost the two "sturdiest" pillars within my basement, and my tiling is beginning to crack. Both of you were "too busy." Too busy to come and see why I kill myself each week, why I even find purpose in fulfilling my Syphisian task. But you came.

I appreciate your presence. It feels good knowing that there's an ounce of you that still cares for me. But, no matter how hard I try to let go of all the times you've disappointed me, I can't seem to fully release their pressure against my heart. The needles are forever placed there. Itching, scratching, and ripping my soul to shreds. You are too late. And I wish you weren't. I wish you were someone else. Someone better, someone that I could feel comfortable with-someone that appreciates what I have to say and loves seeing me become enthralled in my passion. But, you pointed out a negative flaw in you, and because you knew it was true, you HAD to make sure you proved me wrong. Not because you genuinely wanted to see me- no. Because you had to look like the "good friend." Why do I still love you?