Monday, July 12, 2010

Home Sick

Best friend,

Hi. I miss you. Today was ok. I wish things would flow more smoothly, but that would be asking for too much. How have you been? I miss hearing your rants about how much you like this or that guy. Why are you so far away from me? I feel more hallow each and every day. Come back to me. Damn it.
Alright, new chapter. I’m filling myself up. I’m fine alone. I don’t need anyone. I’m fine. I’m ok. I’m ok. Aren’t I? Fuck. I need some sleep. Call me to talk sometime best friend. Okay?


Hi best friend,

So, I really need you right now. And you’re nowhere to be found. I’m sick of going back-retrogressing. I just want to let you go already. I want to call so badly. So badly you can’t even imagine the tearing pain inside me right now. I’m ripping into shreds. It feels like a million threads of string, attached to every one of my muscles, are pulling me into millions of directions-all leading to you. But, you’re nowhere to be found. You don’t exist anymore. I have no one to rely on. It’s just me. And you, well, you’re fine where you are. I simply want to die.
Did I pass your test? Am I strong enough for you to walk all over? Am I still here? I wish I wasn’t. I want to disappear. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. Please.

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About Me

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I'm complicated, at most. I don't always know what I want, nor know exactly what to say. I know who I am, and am confident in who I am; for the most part. I wish to grow stronger, be better, bigger, and wiser. Hopefully one day I will be.